Why pleasing yourself, instead of others, will please them more
How do other people get the best from you or derive value from you? Do you constantly try to please others, or do you focus on pleasing yourself? How often do you find yourself in a position where you fulfil a request from a colleague, family member or friend because you feel you’ll be doing them a favour or helping them out?
By aiming to please others or by constantly doing them favours, feeling obliged and not wanting to let them down, you can put yourself in a position where you feel under pressure. In the situations where you feel unsatisfied or disengaged, you are not truly able to add value to those around you. So when you find yourself in this position, it’s likely you’re not playing to your strengths, performing at your best or delivering all that you can. Constantly doing favours for other people can become difficult for you or take longer than you would like, and you’ll end up delivering at a lower standard than you usually pride yourself, eventually causing you to become disillusioned.
Think about what you could deliver if you were leading from a position of strength. What would happen if you allowed yourself to spend more time using your natural talents and abilities or always delivered at your optimum? The mistake we often make is trying to deliver in all aspects of our work and personal life because we assume that’s what’s expected of us, and don’t like to admit that we’re not skilled in all areas of our work. If we can recognise where we add value, and then focus on the areas where we possess talent or feel passionate about, we can please ourselves while adding value to those around us. The feeling you get from successfully delivering at your optimum, and the quality you produce, will actually far outweigh the benefit of you doing things you’re not inclined towards, are not one of your natural strengths, or are not particularly skilled in.
Being bold and brave enough to accept the areas you’re good or not so good at, and recognising the tasks you can and can’t do well, will allow you to consistently deliver exceptional results. By being selfish and having the courage to begin the conversation that says “I’m not very good at A, but I am really great at B, so if I do B instead I’ll be much more valuable to you”, you’ll benefit from placing yourself in a position of strength. You please yourself by enjoying yourself and playing to those areas of natural strength. Only when you are being true to yourself and playing to your strengths can you truly deliver the most to those around you.